A guide to writing your birth story

There are different reasons why you may choose to write your birth story. It can be a really lovely thing to do after a positive birth but it can also be really healing when birth didn’t go as you hoped.

Your birth story can be just for you to treasure, you could just plan to show your children when they grow up or you could share it with the world! Positive birth stories, as you probably already know, can really help others who are preparing for their own birth.

Not all birth stories include all of the same aspects but here are some prompts to help you include everything you want to:

1. When you should write it?

You can write your story anytime after your baby is born. You may like to do it when your baby is newborn or you may prefer to wait 20 years! If you do decide to write it It's best to set some dedicated time for this process so don't schedule anything pressing afterwards so you aren't rushing. Let your story flow and don't worry about getting it "right." Write down what you can and don't get flustered if you can't remember every detail. You can always go back and edit your writing later if you want to, but to start, just let it flow. And don't censor yourself! Write down all of the "sensitive" or "embarrassing" details that you can remember. Those may be the very things that you want to remember down the road, whether or not you choose not to share those parts with the world.

2. Use your senses to take you back.

All of your senses probably played a role in your birth. Did you use candles, lower the lights, or watch a movie? Turn on your labor playlist if you had one. Did you use lotions or essential oils? Bring them out, breathe them in. (Scent has a powerful tie to memory, you may be surprised at how details start flooding back when you do this.) Smell your baby's head or one of their hats. Touch your belly, connect with your body. Sway your hips or sit on your birth ball if you still have it. Hop in the shower or the bath if you used hydrotherapy during your labor. Drink and eat things that you craved during your pregnancy. Using all of your senses will naturally bring back the details of that special day.

3. How was your pregnancy? Did you have any particular pregnancy symptoms? Any special circumstances for your- self or baby? How did you feel about labour and birth? What antenatal education or reading did you do to prepare? What type of birth were you planning?

4. Jot down your rough labour timeline.

This can be tricky. Birth often comes with a sort of time distortion that makes a few minutes of pushing feel like hours, and an afternoon of contractions zip on by. Use whatever you can to piece together a timeline of everything that happened. You may want to enlist the help of your birth team. You can check text messages, phone call timestamps, your contraction timer app or medical records. Every picture you take has the time and date embedded in it, so check your pictures, too!

5. Who did you invite to be a part of your birth team?

Your partner? Your sister, friend, or mother? Were your older children with you? Did you hire a doula? A midwife? A birth photographer? Processing your birth with the people who were there can be helpful, and a lot of fun! Listen to the details that stood out to them. I can guarantee that they saw or noticed things that you didn't, and they will tell you exactly how brave and strong and amazing you were. Having your birth partner/s write down their side of the birth story can be so special too.

6. How did labour begin? How did you feel in the days before baby was born? Were there any signs labour was coming? Did your waters break in the middle of the supermarket? Did you think you had a tummy bug because of the sensations? Were you induced? What did your surges feel like? Did you realise you were in the early stages?

7. How did you spend early labour? What did you do to distract you or keep you comfortable? Did you do any activities? Did you go out anywhere? Did you have anything yummy to eat? Who was with you? Did you watch or listen to anything? Did you tell the people around you that you were in labour?

8. What happened during active labour?

How did you recognise it was time to head to your birth space or call for a midwife to attend? Did you get assessed in triage? Did a midwife come out to assess you? What hospital did you go to? (was it Neath Port Talbot birth centre or Singleton labour ward Swansea?) How was the journey? How did you feel? Did setting up your birth space go well? What did you use to keep comfortable? How was your progress assessed? Did you have any vaginal exams or observations? Did you use a birth pool or have any pain relief? What did your birth partner/s do that was helpful? How were the staff ?

9. The end of labour... Did you feel a change in intensity? Were interventions offered? Did you feel like everything was explained to you and your decisions respected? Did you or your birth partner recognise the transition phase of labour? Did you feel the urge to push? What position were you in as baby was born? Was your baby born in a theatre with forceps or caesarean? How did that change to your birth plan feel?

10 . Meeting your baby What were your first thoughts as you met your baby face to face for the first time? Who was the first person to touch your baby. How were baby and you immediately after birth? How did you birth the placenta? Did you change locations after baby was born? (getting out of a pool, laying on a bed, moving rooms or to a ward etc). Did you have any stitches? Were you already home or how long did you stay in hospital if relevant.

When you are done, you can do whatever you'd like with it! You may wish to leave it raw or you may want to edit it. You may want to keep it just for you, or you may want to share it on a pregnancy forum! Perhaps you would like to write it as a letter to your baby. However you choose to write your birth story, make a copy for safekeeping! Put it on a flash drive in a safe, or print it and keep it with your important documents. Some like to visit it periodically for years into the future to remember those special moments.

If you want to share your positive birth story with me, I love reading them and sharing them so get in touch.

Angharad x

Creating a Post-Partum Plan

So you're pregnant.

Congratulations🥳🎉

Perhaps you want to tell everyone straight away. Or perhaps you want to wait until your 12 week or 20 weeks scan before tell people or start preparing for the new arrival.

But at some point you will start preparing for the arrival. You may ask friends/relatives or just search online for 'what do babies need?'. Your list may look something like this:

• Moses basket

• Nursery

• Cot

• Baby bath

• Rocking chair

• Clothes

Right?

It is so easy just to focus on what the baby needs when they are born, but what do you need? What is your new life going to look like when baby is here? How do you plan to navigate the first few weeks and months?

This is where a post-partum plan comes in. I recommend that anyone who is pregnant creates one.

So how?

Well there are different forms a plan can take. Perhaps you like lists. Perhaps you like spider diagrams. Perhaps you'd like to write it by hand. Or you may like to follow a template.

However you write it down, I suggest you look at the following areas.

Your expectations - take a real hard think about what your life is going to look like when baby is here. You may be thinking about brunches with friends or baby classes. But I want you to go a little deeper than that. I need you to think more about the day to day when your baby is little. Talk to other new parents. How much sleep do they get? How do they really feel? What do they really want? It may be very different to what you initially thought. If you want to breastfeed, talk to others that are breastfeeding. How often do they feed? How much sleep do they really get? I don't want all of this to be negative, just realistic. If this is your first child then I want you to manage your expectations. Because if they aren't realistic, then you may be in for a big shock. Being a new parent is THE most incredible thing but it can take some adjustment.

1. Social support - You will need people around you when baby is here. Who do you have that it going to support you in this transition? Mum, dad, siblings, friends, neighbours, cleaners, childminders for older kids. Social support can take various forms. And what I may find useful may be completely different to you.

2. Rest - How much rest do all of your household need to be able to be able to survive and thrive on the average day? How do you manage your sleep/rest? What people can help you? Again, link this in to your expectations and social support.

3. Food - In order to be the best version of yourself, you need to be well nourished and hydrated. How are you going to ensure this happens? Are you going to batch cook in advance? Are your neighbours/friends/family going to take it in turns to prepare something for you? Are you going to get food to order? Or is there going to be a bit of a mixture of all of the above. Often, people want to do things for you so will feel helpful if you actually allow them to do something practical.

4. Body recovery - No matter how your baby was born, you will need to recover from this. Rest plays a huge part. It's probably not best for you to go on a hike straight away! In fact, some recommend bed rest for a week and sofa rest for the second week. But also it is very important for you to continue with your pelvic floor exercises! Many like to get a wrap to help support the abdomen. And it is common to get a post-natal massage!

Factors you need to think about when writing your plan.

Visitors - do you want them? when? how many? how long? do you want them to hold the baby? Do you want them to wear masks or wash their hands? how can they support you?

Self-care - How do you ensure that you get all of the care that you need. Whether this is time alone, a lie in, a warm cup of tea, a shower alone or some fresh air.

Breastfeeding - What is normal in those first few days/weeks. How much support you will need. What will that support look like? A glass of water at every feed? Someone else to do all bum changes?

Sharing your preferences - It is inevitable that some people are going to be unhappy about that plan that you have in place. Did they want to hold your baby and you want the fist few days alone?

Finding your hypnobirthing teacher

❤️ I may not be what you picture when you think ‘Hypnobirthing teacher’ ❤️

I'm not into yoga, I don't regularly meditate and I don't use crystals.

There's nothing wrong with ANY of the above, they just aren't me!

The truth is, there is not just one 'type' of hypnobirthing teacher, just like there is not one type of birthing parent or one type of baby. When you pick your hypnobirthing teacher, it is sooo important that you know who they are. So that y

ou won't mind spending quite a lot of time with them, you can open up to them, speak freely in front of them and are not afraid to ask them questions.

So...If you want someone to tell you birth is easy and your baby is going to float out then I am not the right person for you and I suggest you look else where.

If you however want a teachers who is:

🌟 Going to explain to you how your body works during labour

🌟 Going to tell you how incredible birth is when you prepare for it fully

🌟 Going to teach you about your birth rights 🌟 There for you for as long as you need ✨Then I am the right teacher for you! ✨

I found hypnobirthing during my second pregnancy and it changed my life! I truly believe in the power this course can give someone, that I decided I needed to ensure you all get to feel what I felt!

I know my stuff and want you to know yours as well!!! So be quick and book your spot!